I Weigh Less Now Than I Have In Years


 I wake this morning with the knowledge that I now weigh less than I have weighed in more years than I remember. I have not weighed this little since I was tracking on MyFitnessPal, which has been 2013. I remember what I weighed when I moved to Florida in 2009, and it was 10 lbs more than now.

I also know that I have a long way to go before I am where I want to be. I am intentionally omitting my weight and goals from my blog because I really do not feel like I want the feedback about whether it is appropriate, healthy, recommended, etc. I have found that this journey that I have undertaken has put me very in touch with my body, and I follow my intuition. The rest is simply noise.

I have had people reach out to me on social media to ask what I am doing (Keto) and for my meal plan. As such, my blog has become a Keto source where I am posting not only about me, but other sources that I have found useful and informative. I have no idea how this will develop over time, but until or unless I wish to undertake coaching, this will be the resource to which I direct people. I will endeavor, though, to list recipes and tips.

One thing that I have noticed as people have reached out to me is that there is some reason they have listed for their lack of progress on their weight loss goals. In no way am I about to shame anyone, but here is my truth. I have found it easier to hide beneath excess weight than deal with the social ramifications of being slim. I have found, for me, that I gain more respect from men by being someone they find pretty, but not pretty enough to claim as girlfriend, so we can get on to other business. I find that women are more readily willing to be your friend, and not view you as an adversary, if you are a bit heavier. I say this because I know it is irrational and possibly not true, but it has been my "reality." I have found that hiding in excess weight was easier than facing a potential renegotiation of my relationships. My biggest weight loss obstacle has been my own mind.

Returning to my initial point, I have had people tell me that their health condition (diabetes, thyroid, age, loose skin, handicap, etc) is the reason that they have not been able to lose weight. They are absolutely correct, but not for the reason they list. They are right, because it is their personal belief that they cannot get beyond, so they cannot lose weight. I cannot believe that I feel called to invoke Yoda here, but it is like he told Luke: "Do. Or do not. There is no try."

I do not know why, after all of these years, I finally have been able to shed my limiting beliefs. I think that it has been more of a mental evolution than some radical transformation. It has taken me years. The last time that I radically lost weight, it was for a man. I was wildly in love, and I wanted to change for him. When things went wrong between us (for completely unrelated reasons), the weight began creeping up. I then met a man who liked my weight, so I had felt no reason to alter. I now find myself out of reasons to hide. At 43, my future health depends on slimming down. As a massage therapist, I am all too aware of the indignities of aging. I see slim, healthy seniors in their 70s who don't look a day over 50, but then I have seen 60 year old seniors who are morbidly obese, have had multiple surgeries and joint replacements, are on "pain management" (ie, dangerously strong opiods), and have a terrible quality of life and are only wishing they had made better decisions when they still could. I have seen the examples, and I know what I want for me.

So, my point is simply, it is never too late to alter your habits for a better life. For me, that meant giving up alcohol, at least for the duration of my diet, and following a Keto Diet. Perhaps, it means eating eggs for breakfast, instead of a bagel. Perhaps, it means walking to work instead of driving. Maybe it means eating dinner at 4 instead of 8. Maybe you require a set of rules to follow, or you need something less restrictive. Only you know what is right for you. I simply urge you to meditate on the reason, however irrational, that you have chosen to stay heavy, and ask yourself if that reason is still valid for you. If not, and I suspect it is not, then let it go.

On a quick side note, there are rituals that you can do to symbolically "let go." The brain loves ritual and visualizing to accept a new reality. These quick clips from Shankar Vedantam of The Hidden Brain on NPR will explain some of the science behind the research. You may want to consider meditation, cord-cutting, visualization, affirmations, hypnotherapy, journaling, etc. If you have any specific questions about this, feel free to email me, and perhaps I can help you create a ritual that may work for you. I wish you well on your journey to health.


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